suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
