Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
