i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
