You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Boobs are out for the taking
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
