I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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