Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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