and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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