Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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