omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
