Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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