Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
