I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Welp...herpes.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
