I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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