i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
