we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
