there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's never too late to be topless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize