I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
