You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
