i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
