she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
