I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
