we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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