He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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