I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize