i don't like sucking hair
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
