Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize