It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
