Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
