Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This is my gift to your gina
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
