I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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