I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
