Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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