i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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