Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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