You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
