how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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