Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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