she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize