i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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