if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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