I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
