Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
