Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Girls should come with a carfax report
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
