is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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