My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize