i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
