And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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