Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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