too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
