you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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