If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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