he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
