I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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