porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize