note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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