i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
