I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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