yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
