Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
