There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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