She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I am naked and annoyed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
