im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
