just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
