Do you still have your period?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
