dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Randomize
