I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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