Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
