I smell stomach acid.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize