Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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